Still Walking Past Women You Want—Then Going Home and Opening Hinge?
See how to turn the women you already pass at the gym, coffee shop, and grocery store into 10 dates in the next 90 days. Or you don't pay.
Tell me if this is you
It's Saturday night.
You get home from a date you thought went well. Your phone lights up, and it's a text you've had before.
So you message the boys to see who's around. One's got the kids. One's out with his girlfriend. The rest don't answer.
On paper, nothing's wrong. You've got a good job, the money's fine and you're in shape, and you're still on the couch opening Hinge again because it feels like the only shot you've got left.
Her
Had a great time tonight. When can I see you again?
You're a great guy, but I didn't feel a spark.
Here's what nobody told you.
The apps are slow. Nobody sets you up. So every woman you like feels like your last chance. You put her above you before you even sit down. Then the date turns into a job interview.
Nothing's wrong with you. You just have too few options. A better profile won't give you more.
A bigger city won't either. Drop yourself in the busiest one on earth tomorrow. If you still wouldn't walk over, the city was never the problem.
Options do.
The way out
Options are a skill. No one ever taught you this one.
The job's good, the gym's good, your place is good, and none of it taught you how to walk over and talk to her. A nicer car won't teach you to drive.
Five skills, and each one sits on top of the last. You learn them in that order.
"If a date doesn't go well, the next day I can meet a girl in the coffee shop and ask her out. You're not just dependent on the universe or your friends."
- Stop feeling scared to walk overRewire
You walk up and say hi, two minutes in the coffee line, and your approach count starts moving.
- Never run out of things to sayFlow
You stop hunting for words. You send me what happened each week and I tell you what to fix.
- Make her want youSpark
She stops seeing a nice guy and starts thinking about you, so you get numbers instead of polite smiles.
- Turn conversations into datesLead
You ask her out and the date goes in your tracker, instead of her number sitting in your phone.
- Make it normal for youLive
By day 90 this is just part of your week, and you don't need a dating app again.
Plus 12 playbooks you keep
Open one when you're standing there and don't know what to say.
The foundations
- 7-Day KickstartYour first week of approaches, mapped out day by day
- ATS Tracking SystemEvery hello, number and date, logged each week, so you can see your own numbers climb
- 100 Best OpenersWhat to say in any setting
Plus nine more
- Text Game PlaybookWhat to send, and when, to keep momentum
- First Date ArchitectureThe structure for a date that earns a second
- Social Pressure PlaybookEvery test you'll get and how to handle it
- Venue Selection GuideWhere to go, based on your level
- Physical FoundationGrooming and training to look the part
- Diagnosis & PrescriptionsWhy you're stuck, with the fix
- Instagram Optimization
- Digital Detox Protocol
- Curated Book List
Client results
Hear it from two of the guys.
More from clients, in their own words
The program
What the 90 days look like
You don't get a course and a good luck. You get a plan with numbers on it.
- 0
days mapped before you start
Your city, your schedule, the venues near you and openers that sound like you, so on day one you know where to go and what to say.
- 0
day Kickstart in week one
Your first week of approaches, laid out step by step. No guessing.
- 0
live group call, every week
Sunday, 2pm ET. You, me and the other guys in the program. Bring what happened that week and we work through where it broke. Miss one and the replay's there.
- Every
approach you send me gets feedback
Send me what happened in WhatsApp. I tell you what to change before the next one.
- 0
dates by day 90
All with women you met in person. Did the work and came up short? No Dates, No Deal kicks in.
Every hello, every number and every date goes in your tracker. You watch your own numbers climb.
Who's coaching you
"I got on steroids at 21 because I thought if I got jacked enough, women would come to me. They didn't."
I didn't grow up with a dad showing me how to talk to women, so I figured it out alone. Put me in front of a woman I wanted and my mind went blank. So I lived in the gym, because I figured a body nobody could ignore would do the talking for me.
Nothing changed. So I went and learned the one skill nobody taught me, how to meet women in real life. Then I broke it into five pieces.
Those five pieces are what you learn, in the order I had to learn them.
Dylan JayFounder, The Lost Art
No Dates,
No Deal.
Do the work and hit your weekly numbers. If you don't get 10 dates in 90 days, you pick one.
Tap the one you'd take.
Conditions apply.
Be honest
Is this you?
Tap every line that's true, then see what happens.
Tap what's true for you.
Questions
What happens after I apply?
If I think I can help, I reach out within 24 hours and we book a 45-minute call. We go through where you're stuck and what you've tried. If it's a fit, I walk you through the program and what it costs. Applying doesn't book a call on its own.
How much does it cost?
We talk about the price on the call, once I know your situation. It's real money, not a $20 course.
I've never approached a woman in my life. Can I start here?
Jacob hadn't either, at 31. That's what the first phase and your first-30-days plan are for. Confidence doesn't show up first, it shows up after the reps.
I don't have time for this.
It's two minutes, not two hours. You're already in the coffee line, at the gym and walking to lunch, and so are the women. It also replaces the hours you spend swiping and texting matches that go nowhere.
Is this pickup artist stuff?
No routines, no manipulation. You get frameworks to start a conversation, but the goal is that you talk like yourself. If you want a magic line, this isn't for you.
Won't I look like a creep?
You will if you do it wrong. Done right, it looks like two people having a normal conversation and nobody notices. That's what the weekly feedback on your approaches is for.
Does it work outside a big city?
If I dropped you in the busiest city on earth tomorrow, would you walk up to a woman you liked? If not, the city was never the problem. Your gym, your grocery store and your coffee shop already have women in them.
Am I too old for this?
Too old to meet a woman in real life? You grew up before dating was a screen. You already know it was never built on prompts and swipes. That helps you here.
How long have you been trying to fix this on your own?
If you walk past even two women a week you'd want to talk to, that adds up to...
Tap to find out.
52 women you never said hi to.
104 women you never said hi to.
208 women you never said hi to.
200+ women you never said hi to.
How different would your life be if you'd said hi to one of them?
That's what the 90 days are for.
What to do next
Tap the red button, answer the questions, send it.
Tap Apply for Coaching
A short application opens right here on this page. Answer the questions about where you're at with women and what you've tried.
Send it
If it looks like a fit, I get in touch within 24 hours and we pick a time to talk.
We get on a call
We go through where you're stuck. If it's a fit, I walk you through the program and what it costs. If it isn't, I tell you that too.
Do it now, while you're thinking about it.